A conversation this morning about Rob Zombie reminded me of my massive pre-teen crush on Mr. Zombie, as well as how important names are to me, so I present to you,
Roberts I Have Loved (in order)
1. Robert Plant:
Singer/songwriter for Led Zeppelin. I can’t sing, so I started playing guitar. Notice me, Robert? I’m right over here! I even bought Manic Nirvana!
2. Rob Zombie:
What’s not to love? I’ll answer that— there’s nothing to not love. Except I can’t watch his horror movies. But you throw a beard and tattoos on a musician and apparently that’s all it took for Lianna ages 10-24.
3. Robert of Ohio: Best friend of my Kindergarten boyfriend, Ben. I don’t remember your last name or really anything about you except you had brown or blonde hair (???), but I think if Ben didn’t exist then you would have been my first boyfriend.
4. Rob Something or Other: Some guy I dated in high school. You’re probably in jail or a juggalo.